I know I am a little late to this party...and I'm certain that most of you are looking at your screens in a state of shock...yes it's been a really long time...a really long time!
I've been mulling my word for a month or so now...I've really struggled with it this year...I can't seem to come up with just one word, so I'm going to try to write, in my stream of consciousness kind of way how I got to my word...words...
It started back in November...well, truth be told it started a lot longer ago, but this is when it began to make a little sense to me. I realized on November 24, my 63rd birthday, that I had been collecting my Social Security check for almost a year...how in the world did that ever happen. I remembered back when my mom first started getting her checks and how I thought "Dang she is so old!". Well here I was, already a year in...whew, but the good news is I don't feel SO old...I am probably in the best shape of my life...yes you read that right...of my LIFE! I have had the most amazing opportunity to work with a trainer since the spring...she has truly changed my life. I work out with her 2 days a week, ride my bike, try to eat right, drink tons of water and I've even started jumping rope for a bit more cardio. I also plan on starting Yoga. I have made a CHOICE...I want to be as strong, flexible, and balanced as I can possibly be. Yes, choice is one of my words...I remember when I was a working wife and mom, doing all the mom things...baseball practice, basketball practice, games one evening a week, a game or two on Saturday, homework, Cub Scouts, church, youth group..nothing out of the ordinary, just what every mom does...on top of teaching Special Ed full time, keeping a house, cooking and being a wife...again, nothing special, just doing what we all did at that point in our lives...my mom said "This time will pass, enjoy it while you're in it, but always try to make good choices." At the time I thought, "What in the world is she talking about, make choices...I have no choices...I have to do it all!" I have to be a good mom, wife, teacher, cook, housekeeper, pet mom, church member, volunteer and on and on...again nothing out of the ordinary...nothing exclusive to me...we were all in the same boat, rowing as fast as we could. Over the years the circumstances have changed but there were still tons of things that I thought I needed to be the best, the best mom, mother in law, grandma, friend, business owner...why do we all do this to ourselves? Now in my 64th year of my life I have finally figured out what my mom was talking about...we have to make CHOICES for ourselves...we can't always do it all, we can't always do what others expect us to do...we have to be happy doing the things that we choose to do, the things that make us happy...now I am not saying that we should all become self-centered, entitled women...that would not make my heart happy...I'm saying we need to make better choices...just think about it. The thing about a choice is that we try to make the best ones, and sometimes they turn out not to be as good as we thought so we try to make a better one just around the corner. We are a work in progress...forever!
It's taken me a very long time to be able to let things go...I hang on to thoughts of "I should have tried harder" "I should have done more" "What if..." "Maybe I could have..."...I'm taking a lesson from Elsa...I'm going to "Let it Go"...I am going to be satisfied with myself that I have made the best choice, that I have done the best I can, and if sometimes that just doesn't meet others expectations...there's nothing I can do about that...so I am going to RELEASE those thoughts...I will continue to try to make the best choices, and let the rest go!
Now all of this thinking and mulling has brought me to my word...ENOUGH...this has been a very long journey for me...in my 64th year I am ENOUGH just the way I am. I can't be everything to everybody...I can't take care of the "world"...I can't feel guilty about the things I choose not to do...I am ENOUGH as long as I make the best CHOICES daily that I can make and RELEASE the rest.
I plan to make 2015 the best year of my life so far...Strong, Healthy, Very Happy and ENOUGH!